When I’m connected to my Spirit, I feel at peace, full of faith, patience and positivity. When obstacles come, I can face them with a positive attitude… but there’s another voice battling inside me.
Ego-Physical, Fast paced, Stubborn, Independent, Judgmental, Insecure, Anxious, Non-trusting
Spirit-Intuitive, slow moving, Connected, humble, Positive, Peaceful, Confident, Accepting, Trusting
In short, The Ego is self-destructive. Spirit is everything I want to be. I want to live free, not bound by my emotions- I want to live a happy, successful life full of positive, healthy relationships. For me, Spiritual balance is as essential as water. It is a mindset, an attitude, and a lifestyle.
The balance between Ego and Spirit is the difference between a happy life and a miserable life.
and I’m sick of it. Sometimes after auditions, I just want to scream, “What do I have to do to make people see me?!!” I’m tired of feeling invisible. I smile and give my performance everything I’ve got. Even when I think I’ve done well, It’s never enough. I’m never called back or asked to be seen again. I notice the other dancers who are called back. They’re not better performers, but they fit the Image the Directors are looking for.
I remember one director at a dance audition who told us, “You picked the hardest career in the world…But don’t stop trying.” Every day I realize how true that is. There’s always something to improve on whether it’s your look, technique, or stage presence. You have to have the complete package or you’re not even taken seriously.
My work is cut out for me, but I’m never giving up.
Maybe it’s better that I dont have friends. This is a reoccuring issue. I’m the one who pushes people away, then wonder why I’m alone.
Sometimes I just need time and Space to process. My mind gets overwhelmed and I stop smiling, stop talking because all I can do is Breathe to keep myself from breaking down. I don’t mean to shut down but I still do it.
I wish I could communicate that in a respectful way, but I still haven’t learned…. I get it, sorry isn’t enough sometimes. If I lose another friend, I know it’s on me.
By now I’ve learned to tell myself that even without friends, I’ll be successful. Maybe it’s better this way. I hate to bring other people down with my issues. This is something I have to deal with on my own.
I’ve got to get through this. Lately, I’m finding myself frustrated with every part of my life.
With Dance, I can’t seem to stop judging and comparing myself to the people around me. I feel like a stand out because of my age and race…My insecurities are affecting my confidence and my attitude. I just want to be successful so badly that I’m pressuring myself and expecting too much too soon. I’m feeling stressed instead of having fun expressing myself.
I really need to relax.
With each day I know that this is the beginning of a new season. I can’t find peace in anything anymore. There’s only emptiness and brokenness left here. I try so hard to keep myself from sinking down into it every day. I’m fighting so hard to keep my dreams alive and I’m glad that I made it this far, but I don’t feel like I’m living my life yet.
I’m tired of just getting by, accepting whatever life hands me, finding the tiniest glimpses of happiness once in a rare blue moon.
I feel trapped and isolated and I’m tired of feeling like this. I have to be courageous and ambitious enough to build the life I dream of rather than accept the second rate life I’ve been given. The longer I’m here, the more bitter and resentful I become. It’s been 10 years.. I finally realize that staying here is holding me back from the life I could be living.
I just want to be happy, that’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted.
Stop Believing that you are powerless and forced to accept a second rate life. You have the power to achieve any goal you set your mind to.
It’s hard to turn away from people who need help, But I can’t save the world, I can only save myself…I can’t continue being the one that makes everyone else happy while I’m miserable underneath. Don’t I deserve to be happy?
You have the Power to do anything you put your mind to.