Anxiety

Does a person diagnosed with a mental condition (depression, ADHD, OCD) always have this condition? Can it be cured or only treated?

I discussed this a few days ago with a mental health therapist. She was explaining the difference between a mental health therapist and a behavioral health therapists. In her line of work, she deals with young people diagnosed with conditions such as ADD, ADHD, OCD, and ODD. A behavioral therapist helps patients deal with the behaviors that occur from these conditions, but it does not cure the condition itself.

So the question is,  when a person learns to manage their behaviors through medication and/or therapy, does the condition ever leave?

For example, a person with ADD may work very hard with treatment and  get to the point where  they no longer need therapy or medication, but does that mean they are no longer diagnosed with ADD?

This question made me think about my own mental health. I am not diagnosed with any mental health conditions, but through my life I have struggled with depression and  anxiety. When I was a teenager,  I struggled with depression off and on because of things that happened in my past. I would replay painful experiences over and over in my mind and relive the feelings. Back then,  I didn’t know how to turn the thoughts off, so I  would sink down deeper.

Anxiety causes my mind to be restless and filled with worried, fearful thoughts. Physically, it is hard for me to rest, sleep and sometimes eat when I’m feeling pressured.  I know that anxiety, depression, and alcoholism runs on both sides of my family.  Before I understood it, I would fall into the same negative behavior patterns-shutting down, panicking over situations, and drinking too much trying to cover up my emotions.

Through the years, I’ve started to understand what causes my anxiety/depression and how it affects my moods and decisions. I’ve taken steps towards overcoming my anxious behaviors as best I can. I’m learning to stop using alcohol as a coping device and work through my emotions in a healthy way. I  try to keep my mind body and spirit filled with peace and positivity through prayer, worship and study, yoga, and music. I spend a lot of time in nature praying and meditating. I also try to be as physically active as possible to help the restlessness.  My creative outlets- dance, music, and writing are really what keep me sane.  These are not just things I enjoy but things I need in order to keep myself  balanced and away from negative habits. I know my stress triggers and when I feel myself becoming overwhelmed, I try to step back and do what I need to do to re-balance myself. 

In response to the question earlier, is the anxiety still there?

Occasionally a long period of time will go by where I feel very calm and peaceful then all of a sudden something will happen that throws me into panic mode or into that dark, heavy haze. Without realizing, I go back to those old behaviors-moving so fast that I can’t remember what I’m doing, drinking too much, and not able to sleep.

I used to be caught off guard when it resurfaced.I would be surprised because I thought I had dealt with the issue so it should be gone.  It has taken time, experience, and maturity to understand that you cannot just cure or fix a person’s emotional/mental state.  The condition is always there, but it might lay dormant until triggered.

My conclusion, Anxiety will always be a challenge for me because that’s just part of the way I am wired. At times I still have a tendency to worry too much, overthink situations, and stress myself out over small things, but I have learned positive coping devices to manage these behaviors. Anxiety may be a part of me, but I am not defined by it and it does not rule me. I am in control of my thoughts,emotions, and actions.  When I hear the voices of negativity whispering to me, I choose not to listen. Instead I filled my mind with positive thoughts, affirmations, and scriptures.

phil 4-anxious

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Fear of Perception

fear is not real

My biggest challenge as a person and an artist is the fear of perception. I struggle to be myself freely and fully because of this fear. The logical part of me knows that it really doesn’t matter what other people think. I don’t need their approval, but still the thought is always in my mind,

What will they think?

This is an issue I face in every area of my life, at work, church, relationships, wherever people are involved. In every relationship I have,  I secretly worry about the way other people see me.

As a performer,  I’m still uncomfortable when I have to perform solo and all eyes are on me. I always end up toning myself  down so I won’t stand out. I love performing,  but it is not easy to be in spotlight and not feel fearful or anxious.

Fear has been a struggle for me throughout my entire life. I wish there was a way to escape  it or erase the thought from my mind, but I’m learning that fear, like all emotional/mental issues, is not something that I can just turn off. Fear is a mindset that  I  work to overcome daily. Here is where trust and surrender comes in.

I accept the fact that  I cannot conquer my  fears on my own, and  I give it to God.  Every day I seek God to help me overcome my fears. Every day  I meditate on these affirmations whenever I feel my fear creeping up.

  1. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind.
  2. People are just people and there is no reason to fear them.
  3. My true intention is  to please God and not people.

Every day it gets easier and the fear does not rule my mind the way it used to. Every day I continue to face my fears by taking chances, auditioning, and performing in new places.   Today when I look at all my accomplishments, I realize that I’m now doing things that I used to only dream of.

Deut31-be strong

YOu are a Creator

Your Life is the way it is because you lost trust in yourself and turned to others because you thought you did something wrong.

You’ve been creating in reaction to what you think others want from you or want you to become.

The truth is, you never did anything wrong.

In the very beginning, Spirit became aware of itself and asked the question, “Who AM I?”

That question gave birth to Duality.

ALL THAT WAS exploded into a billion billions of itself and set out to find the answer.

You Are ALL THAT WAS!

You set out on a journey to answer that question and began to forget who You are.

 

John McCurdy

25

I am 25 this year and I’m realizing that this is the Prime time of my life. Now is the Time to start turning my dreams into reality, and that means making  sacrifices. Instead of spending money on going out, I am taking acting and vocal lessons, practicing, preparing for auditions, choreographing new dances and writing music.

I am taking control of my dreams and my life. I am investing in myself, I am taking action, and it feels good!

I am not waiting for my opportunity. I am not waiting for other people’s support or validation. I am not even using my finances as an excuse not to move forward

I am Living my Dreams now!

bdaypose1

I am  Determined to live to the fullest, conquer my fears, and live my dreams.