Humble Yourself-Remaining Patient through the Process

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“Humble Yourself Under God’s Mighty Hand that He may lift you up in due time.” 1Pet.5:6

There’s a war raging inside my mind right now. I am not where I want to be. I want to be successful so badly I am telling myself to do whatever it takes, even if that means pushing past my limits until exhaustion….but the more I push myself, the more my mind and adrenaline kick in and tell me that I cannot rest or slow down. I’m getting to the point where I can’t sit still, my  mind is cluttered, I’m drinking more, and I have to force myself to rest at the end of the day. I’m moving so fast, that I’m making impulsive decisions rather than acting with peaceful clarity. I’m trying to do it all because it  feels like I’m not moving fast enough…Anxiety mode

I’m anxious because I’m 25 and I know that this is my time to move into my next level. My spirit knows to be patient and to Trust God as I  Trust my Journey. Deep down I know that I cannot rush the process.  I need to give myself the time I need to prepare. But at the same time, I am running out of patience.  I’m trying to increase the speed of my life so that I don’t have time to focus on my reality,  which is… I’m still here living in my hometown with my family, working a full time job that I don’t belong in, still struggling to pay bills and save money from month to month. I feel alone. Even though I am not the only struggling artist here, I wish there were more of us. I wish there were more professional training opportunities for me here, but I realize that professional training for adults does not exist here.

I am a positive person, but there are days when it’s just hard to feel inspired. I know from experience that when anxiety and negativity start building up like this,  I need to RE-focus and RE-charge. The reality of my life as a working artist is that I am ALWAYS fighting between being patient and accepting of my current place and feeling frustrated, stressed, and stuck in my current place.  This week, my anxious thoughts and emotions started to over-ride my truth, causing me to lose my Peace.

To go back to my truth, I must continue to find a  peaceful balance between all of my goals and desimg_0051ires.  I know that I need to slow myself down and stick to the plan. I have to constantly remind myself that I am doing enough right now with teaching, choreographing, practicing, performing, and working. I cannot do EVERYTHING all at once. Although I’m always excited for more opportunities, I have to start focusing and prioritizing the ones that will  help me reach my ultimate goal. Most importantly, I have to continue to train my mind and spirit as I am training my body. This means, keeping prayer, meditation, and mindfulness a priority each day so that I can live in a state of peace rather than a frantic frenzy.

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Life Lessons from an Empath

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“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.” ~ Andrews Boyd Artist: Sarah Meech I often feel like this:

Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.” ~ Andrews Boyd

In my last post, I asked the questions, How do I learn to  stop caring so much about other people’s problems? How do I stop being the fixer, constantly putting everyone else’s needs before my own?

Maybe the answer is not to stop caring, but learning not to internalize people’s problems as your own. It is our responsibility to help others when they need it, but it is not our responsibility to constantly sacrifice ourselves for other people. It is ok to say…

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Energy is Infinite

Everything in the physical and spiritual world is Energy. Energy flows inside us through our ☀ "Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be changed from one form to another." ~~Albert Einstein: mind, body, spirit, and soul. Energy is all around us in Nature and all of its creations. The things we cannot see with our physical  eyes, but can only feel with our hearts and souls…that is energy.

Understanding that our entire universe is made of infinite, abounding energy helps us deepen our perspective of life.We don’t need to mourn for lost love or people,  “Love is a form of energy that swirls all around us.” I believe that love is constantly being reborn in new forms. We just have to open our eyes to the energy that is already present within us and around us.