Moving here with a low budget, I am slowly realizing each day what low budget housing means in this city…I have a temp. room but I only use it for sleep and storage. The rest of the time, I’m around the city, on the bus/subway, or killing time at the park or the library, since I don’t know anyone yet.
The biggest challenge
I’m not going to spend my life being a Color.
I hate that it feels like my race and gender is tied to being….underadvantaged, unequal, and underestimated.
Everywhere I go, I have no choice but to notice the top and bottom. Who is on the top? Who always seems to be in authority?
Who is always the employee?
I’m sick of being on the bottom, always struggling, fighting for opportunities that others can experience freely.
I want to travel, speak multiple languages, climb mountains, fly on an airplane, surf, ride a motorcyle, perform on Broadway.
Why does it feel like these things are unheard of for a person like me?
I want to see positive examples of myself in the media. I want to see myself as a superhero, Business woman, Leader.
Not the stripper, babymama, or the angry black woman.
No matter how hard it gets, I know that I can’t settle for the low status that society tries to keep me in. Even if I have to work twice as hard, I will reach the top of this glass ceiling and then burst through it.
I’ve reached the point where I no longer feel afraid in my skin. I can embrace myself as an aspiring artist, teacher, dancer, androgynous, black, female Boss on a mission to be sucessful in all I do.
I’ve dealt with the pain of rejection, heartbreak, and loneliness for my whole life. In the end, it’s the reason I am strong enough to stand on my own.
So be afraid of who? For what?
I didn’t move to NY to live afraid. I came here because I am Ready to give it all to live my dream. I have the confidence that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
What’s the worst that can happen to me? Someone thinks I am untalented? Oh well, I know who I am and I have nothing to prove. The only competition is against myself. The only limitations are my own beliefs.
some days I feel strong
some days I’m tired of being the only one….
I got a few to count on
But I have to walk this path alone.
Seems like every time someone comes into my life I have to let them go.
I cant let anybody slow me down. I worked too hard just to get here.
I can’t let anybody slow me down. I conquered too much just to get here.
Even if I’m standing alone. I won’t let anyone pull me down.