Here I Am.

This is Me

Here I am.

I’m starting completely over again

Building myself from the ground up

I’m juggling so much by myself 

And still trying to be happy…

It’s a game of Survival

People come and go and everyone has their opinion of who they THINK I am,

But at the end of the day, why should I fear anyone but God?

I can’t let people Bring Me Down.

I Release those Fears

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Enough is Enough!

This week was full of reflections and revelations that helped me to recognize the source of my stress and frustration with my life.

For my entire adult life I have worked, studied, trained, and performed without ever feeling truly satisfied. I always seemed to need more money and more time to fulfill my never ending list of goals.

No matter how busy and stressed, I always felt that I needed to do more professionally, creatively, and personally.

6 months ago, I came to NY with this same attitude. I jumped in head first working 2 jobs, going back to school, constantly moving without permanent housing, trying to make time for dance, and struggling to maintain a relationship.

Needless to say after about 3 months of this madness, I was burnt out, bitter, and disappointed that things turned out nothing like I had imagined.

2 months later, I am living in a homeless shelter. I have decided to focus on one part time job, and my priority is to finish school in Spring. My relationship finally ended after we were both forced to admit that it had become toxic and emotionally draining.

Now that I have slowed down, My mind finally has clarity to see the truth about myself and my decisions. Here are the major lessons I learned.

There has to be a such thing as Enough. (Yogi Principle)

Stop pushing yourself to do more than you can without stress.

An excessive mindset keeps you from being grateful for what you already have.

Eliminate excessiveness and prioritize the essentials..

You don’t have to do more or be more to live your dreams. Learn to work with what you have right here and right now.

Physical Existence

As much as I can, I want to escape this physical existence. I want to be more than my physical identity.

My physical life fills me with pain. Memories from my past are like visions of my past lives…How can I be so many people and still be whole?

People say I am young because of my physical age, but my soul is centuries old.

Some days my soul is heavy and tired and I feel trapped in this physical cage.

I feel free when I can escape into my spiritual realm of meditation, dance, music, nature.

I won’t be truly happy or free until I learn to live from my soul.

Comment me if you ever feel this way or have any knowledge/experience of metaphysics that I can gain from.

Thank You,

Shenise G.

Just Existing

Today is one of those cold, grey days….

Lately , I feel it more and more

Loneliness

Homelessness…not just physically

But emotionally, disconnected from everything.

Part of me is questioning why I decided to move here alone??

Everything feels empty and meaningless

What is there to look forward to?

At work, I’m just taking up space

Not even present.

Every day I face facts

A relationship won’t fill me.

I’m not living, just existing.


I won’t feel like Me again until I’m creatively productive and connected again.