Confessions of a Dancer…A Lonely Path

some days I feel strong

some days I’m tired of being the only one….

I got a few to count on

But I have to walk this path alone.

Seems like every time someone comes into my life I have to let them go.

I cant let anybody slow me down. I worked too hard just to get here.

I can’t let anybody slow me down. I conquered too much just to get here.

Even if I’m standing alone. I won’t let anyone pull me down.

Finding Balance-The Art of Self care

 The Art of Self care is Learning what you need to live a healthy, balanced lifestyle  and taking the appropriate steps to maintain that balance. You must be willing to accept your own strengths and weaknesses mentally, emotionally, and physically. You must be committed to making positive changes.  Most importantly, you must remain connected to your spiritual source for strength, wisdom, and guidance on your inward journey. Remember that change happens from the inside out.

Emotional challenges…Too open/completely closed-giving too much or shutting down completely, emotional highs/lows,

What I can do-Balance emotions before making decisions, RElease, communicate, Boundaries

Mental challenges-Over thinking, anxious, impatient

What I can do-Meditate, pace yourself, Let Go, Don’t take life too seriously…Laugh!

Physical challenges-too much energy, insomnia, drinking

What I can do-physical activity,  fast from stimulants, daily calming routine

Peace in your Self Care Journey! Shenise G.

 

Finding Balance- The Art of Self Care

The physical world is so full of demands, it feels like balance is hard to find and even harder to maintain. Between work and commitments to family and friends, it’s easy to push your own personal needs aside. But you must learn to value your own Emotional and Mental health above everything else .

How do you remain balanced when your energy is being pulled in so many different directions??

This year juggling three jobs, multiple shows, and my own personal issues was a daily struggle. I learned that The more you  share your energy with everyone around you, the more people begin to want and expect your energy.  People are drawn to  and can even become dependent on your positive energy.

But what happens when you are burnt out?

Eventually, it becomes draining to constantly be the motivator, especially when your own emotional needs aren’t being fulfilled. After a while, it felt like I was giving my energy away to everyone else around me and there was none left for myself. I started to feel angry and resentful towards the people around me. They expected me to smile and laugh all day long,  but they had no Idea how frustrated and depressed I really felt. Some days felt like I was just playing a role for the sake of those around me.

In order to keep your peace of mind, you have to prioritize your own mental and emotional needs.   It’s ok to draw boundaries, it is ok to have time to yourself.

It is okay to not be ok. 

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Confessions of a Dancer…Overlooked

Overlooked

Underestimated

Misunderstood

MisLabled

and I’m sick of it. Sometimes after auditions, I just want to scream, “What do I have to do to make people see me?!!” I’m tired of feeling invisible. I smile and give my performance everything I’ve got. Even when I think I’ve done well,  It’s never enough. I’m never called back or asked to be seen again. I notice the other dancers who are called back. They’re not better performers, but they fit the Image the Directors are looking for.

I remember one director at a dance audition who told us, “You picked the hardest career in the world…But don’t stop trying.” Every day I realize how true that is. There’s always something to improve on whether it’s your look, technique, or stage presence. You have to have the complete package or you’re not even taken seriously.

My work is cut out for me, but I’m never giving up.

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Confessions of a Dancer…A Lonely Path

Maybe it’s better that I dont have friends. This is a reoccuring issue. I’m the one who pushes people away, then wonder why I’m alone.

Sometimes I just need time and Space to process. My mind gets overwhelmed and I stop smiling, stop talking because all I can do is Breathe to keep myself from breaking down. I don’t mean to shut down but I still do it. 
I wish I could communicate that in a respectful way, but I still haven’t learned…. I get it, sorry isn’t enough sometimes. If I lose another friend, I know it’s on me.
By now I’ve learned to tell myself that even without friends, I’ll be successful. Maybe it’s better this way. I hate to bring other people down with my issues. This is something I have to deal with on my own. 

Confessions of a Dancer

I’ve got to get through this. Lately,  I’m finding myself frustrated with every part of my life. 

With Dance, I can’t seem to stop judging and comparing myself to the people around me. I feel like a stand out because of my age and race…My insecurities are affecting my confidence and my attitude. I just want to be successful so badly that I’m pressuring myself and expecting too much too soon. I’m feeling stressed instead of having fun expressing myself.

I really need to relax.

New Season

With each day I know that this is the beginning of a new season. I can’t find peace in anything anymore. There’s only emptiness and brokenness left here. I try so hard to keep myself from sinking down into it every day. I’m fighting so hard to keep my dreams alive and I’m glad that I made it this far, but I don’t feel like I’m living my life yet. 


I’m tired of just getting by, accepting whatever life hands me, finding the tiniest glimpses of happiness once in a rare blue moon.

I feel trapped and isolated and I’m tired of feeling like this. I have to be courageous and ambitious enough to build the life I dream of rather than accept the second rate life I’ve been given. The longer I’m here, the more bitter and resentful I become. It’s been 10 years.. I finally realize that staying here is holding me back from the life I could be living.

I just want to be happy, that’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted.

Stop Believing that you are powerless and forced to accept a second rate life. You have the power to achieve any goal you set your mind to.