Confessions of a Dancer…A Lonely Path

Maybe it’s better that I dont have friends. This is a reoccuring issue. I’m the one who pushes people away, then wonder why I’m alone.

Sometimes I just need time and Space to process. My mind gets overwhelmed and I stop smiling, stop talking because all I can do is Breathe to keep myself from breaking down. I don’t mean to shut down but I still do it. 
I wish I could communicate that in a respectful way, but I still haven’t learned…. I get it, sorry isn’t enough sometimes. If I lose another friend, I know it’s on me.
By now I’ve learned to tell myself that even without friends, I’ll be successful. Maybe it’s better this way. I hate to bring other people down with my issues. This is something I have to deal with on my own. 

Confessions of a Dancer

I’ve got to get through this. Lately,  I’m finding myself frustrated with every part of my life. 

With Dance, I can’t seem to stop judging and comparing myself to the people around me. I feel like a stand out because of my age and race…My insecurities are affecting my confidence and my attitude. I just want to be successful so badly that I’m pressuring myself and expecting too much too soon. I’m feeling stressed instead of having fun expressing myself.

I really need to relax.

New Season

With each day I know that this is the beginning of a new season. I can’t find peace in anything anymore. There’s only emptiness and brokenness left here. I try so hard to keep myself from sinking down into it every day. I’m fighting so hard to keep my dreams alive and I’m glad that I made it this far, but I don’t feel like I’m living my life yet. 


I’m tired of just getting by, accepting whatever life hands me, finding the tiniest glimpses of happiness once in a rare blue moon.

I feel trapped and isolated and I’m tired of feeling like this. I have to be courageous and ambitious enough to build the life I dream of rather than accept the second rate life I’ve been given. The longer I’m here, the more bitter and resentful I become. It’s been 10 years.. I finally realize that staying here is holding me back from the life I could be living.

I just want to be happy, that’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted.

Stop Believing that you are powerless and forced to accept a second rate life. You have the power to achieve any goal you set your mind to. 

 

Facing Pain

To grow as a person, and especially as an artist you have to learn to face uncomfortable situations. Pain, Vulnerability, conflict, and broken relationships are part of life. I used to run away from these kinds of situations, but now I face them with Confidence.

I’ve been through so much emotionally, but my journey has lead me to healing, self love, and rebuilding. Now I  am in a Blessed place. Nothing brings me down anymore. No matter what my situation looks like, I can recover and move on with my life because I have a focus, I can see the big picture. I know that my obstacles won’t keep me from my destiny. Nothing can stop me from being great!

Focus on YOU.

“Don’t worry about them. Let them worry about you.” Unknown

I have a tendency to spend way too much time worrying about Perception.It’s not intentional, but the thought is always in the back of my mind. Through the years, I’ve found myself obsessing over people and spending more time worrying about what people think of me than understanding what I think of myself! I realized that this is a serious problem for me and it is something I need to learn to work though in order to live a life of true happiness and freedom. But I’ve been this way for so long, I don’t know how to break free from this mental obstacle.

One night, after going through a painful separation from someone I loved, I had a dream that gave me the answer I needed. In this dream,  I was looking at myself in a mirror and I heard my own voice speaking, “Don’t Focus on People, Focus on the Goal.” Since then, that has been a personal mantra for me. Every time I feel myself starting to get hyper focused on perception, I pull it back in and remind myself of a few things…

  1. Whatever  people think of me is beyond my control.
  2. It doesn’t matter what people think of me because I know Who I Am.
  3. Forget about people-What do YOU want?
  4. It’s not my job to be a People pleaser. My only job is to be Myself. Acceptance...:

Fear No Man

 :

I am learning how  to free myself from the Fear of Perception.  I  constantly remind myself that it doesn’t matter what people think of me because I know who I am.

Freedom Affirmations

 I do not allow people to control my thoughts or emotions. I refuse to allow anyone make me feel  ashamed, intimidated or inferior.

I do not fear rejection. I would rather stand alone than try to make myself fit where I don’t belong.

There is nothing anyone  can say or do that will make me change or stop me from being my true self.

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