Moving here with a low budget, I am slowly realizing each day what low budget housing means in this city…I have a temp. room but I only use it for sleep and storage. The rest of the time, I’m around the city, on the bus/subway, or killing time at the park or the library, since I don’t know anyone yet.
The biggest challenge
I’m not going to spend my life being a Color.
I hate that it feels like my race and gender is tied to being….underadvantaged, unequal, and underestimated.
Everywhere I go, I have no choice but to notice the top and bottom. Who is on the top? Who always seems to be in authority?
Who is always the employee?
I’m sick of being on the bottom, always struggling, fighting for opportunities that others can experience freely.
I want to travel, speak multiple languages, climb mountains, fly on an airplane, surf, ride a motorcyle, perform on Broadway.
Why does it feel like these things are unheard of for a person like me?
I want to see positive examples of myself in the media. I want to see myself as a superhero, Business woman, Leader.
Not the stripper, babymama, or the angry black woman.
No matter how hard it gets, I know that I can’t settle for the low status that society tries to keep me in. Even if I have to work twice as hard, I will reach the top of this glass ceiling and then burst through it.
I’ve reached the point where I no longer feel afraid in my skin. I can embrace myself as an aspiring artist, teacher, dancer, androgynous, black, female Boss on a mission to be sucessful in all I do.
I’ve dealt with the pain of rejection, heartbreak, and loneliness for my whole life. In the end, it’s the reason I am strong enough to stand on my own.
So be afraid of who? For what?
I didn’t move to NY to live afraid. I came here because I am Ready to give it all to live my dream. I have the confidence that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
What’s the worst that can happen to me? Someone thinks I am untalented? Oh well, I know who I am and I have nothing to prove. The only competition is against myself. The only limitations are my own beliefs.
some days I feel strong
some days I’m tired of being the only one….
I got a few to count on
But I have to walk this path alone.
Seems like every time someone comes into my life I have to let them go.
I cant let anybody slow me down. I worked too hard just to get here.
I can’t let anybody slow me down. I conquered too much just to get here.
Even if I’m standing alone. I won’t let anyone pull me down.
The Art of Self care is Learning what you need to live a healthy, balanced lifestyle and taking the appropriate steps to maintain that balance. You must be willing to accept your own strengths and weaknesses mentally, emotionally, and physically. You must be committed to making positive changes. Most importantly, you must remain connected to your spiritual source for strength, wisdom, and guidance on your inward journey. Remember that change happens from the inside out.
Emotional challenges…Too open/completely closed-giving too much or shutting down completely, emotional highs/lows,
What I can do-Balance emotions before making decisions, RElease, communicate, Boundaries
Mental challenges-Over thinking, anxious, impatient
What I can do-Meditate, pace yourself, Let Go, Don’t take life too seriously…Laugh!
Physical challenges-too much energy, insomnia, drinking
What I can do-physical activity, fast from stimulants, daily calming routine
Peace in your Self Care Journey! Shenise G.
The physical world is so full of demands, it feels like balance is hard to find and even harder to maintain. Between work and commitments to family and friends, it’s easy to push your own personal needs aside. But you must learn to value your own Emotional and Mental health above everything else .
How do you remain balanced when your energy is being pulled in so many different directions??
This year juggling three jobs, multiple shows, and my own personal issues was a daily struggle. I learned that The more you share your energy with everyone around you, the more people begin to want and expect your energy. People are drawn to and can even become dependent on your positive energy.
But what happens when you are burnt out?
Eventually, it becomes draining to constantly be the motivator, especially when your own emotional needs aren’t being fulfilled. After a while, it felt like I was giving my energy away to everyone else around me and there was none left for myself. I started to feel angry and resentful towards the people around me. They expected me to smile and laugh all day long, but they had no Idea how frustrated and depressed I really felt. Some days felt like I was just playing a role for the sake of those around me.
In order to keep your peace of mind, you have to prioritize your own mental and emotional needs. It’s ok to draw boundaries, it is ok to have time to yourself.
It is okay to not be ok.
My dreams have always been there to protect me, guide me, and push me to better.
Dreams give me visions of hope in the darkest places. My dreams are everything I can’t put in words.
At times, it drives me crazy that it’s only in my head. These visions are so strong, I can’t hold them inside any longer.
I’m ready to bring it to life.