More to Life

I’m Sick of being trapped inside a system where I can’t get ahead.

I’m always working, but still behind.

They say Money is the root of evil but it affects our quality of Life…

I’m always outside looking in at the Life of my dreams….

Watching people of privledge prosper effortlessly.

Me I have to split myself in 3 to study, work, and try to live my dreams.

When am I free to pursue my passions??

They say you cannot Buy Happiness….

So I guess I should learn to be content with Living from Hand to Mouth 

every day of every week of every month.

Don’t get me wrong, I am Thankful for everything I have.

I see people in far worse circumstances every day.

Thankful I am, but content? Not at all.

With Spiritual eyes, I see where I am supposed to be.

I can’t Accept Work, Struggle, Repeat as the  theme of my saga.

There’s More to Life and I deserve it.

So aggressively I will work, study, Move, shift, and shake my Plans into action

As I Pray, Trust, and Believe there is More to this Life.


Dreams-Living vs. Speaking

What have I learned from my first attempt at living my dreams in NYC and briefly coming home to friends and family?….

It’s easier to Live Your Dreams Out Loud than to speak them out loud.

Speaking your dreams gives people the chance to cut them down and implant seeds of Doubt into your Vision.

I know why I left this place….Being here Drains my energy. I’m constantly surrounded by voices of Fear.

It’s takes all the strength I have just to stay inspired from day to day…

Is there anyone here that can lift me up??

There goes that anxious, restless feeling that tells me it’s time to go.

From now on, I’ll share even less about my journey.

I want my accomplishments to speak for themselves.

Reality and Dreams

Living your Dreams should be A Right, not something reserved for the Privileged….

But the reality is, I can’t afford to live my dreams here.

Maybe this mentality is my problem…I see others living their Dreams and I compare…Im just as talented. Why can’t I have it?

The ones on the top are already professional dancers and entertainers living in The heart of the city, where all the opportunities are.

Meanwhile, I’m homeless, working 2 Jobs, and trying to finish school so I can actually sustain my Dance Dreams.

The irony is that I came to NY to be in a Dance program. but I can’t afford tuition. I dont even know how I can make the time while I’m still working like crazy just to live.

Maybe I need to learn to live my Dreams on a smaller scale?

One Day at a Time

Reality has a way of Humbling me.

Breaking me to my knees,

Sreaming in my face…

“Wake Up Cinderella!”

I’m trying to stop jumping the gun. I keep trying to make things happen before it’s time…I’m a control freak.

I’m trying to stop setting my expectations so high, it’s a setup for disappointment. Things in my life are never the way I see them in my mind.

Why do Dreams Manifest so slowly?

It’s hard to break these habits because I want what I want so badly. It feels like I’ve been waiting my whole life… Every day I pray for strength, patience, and peace. There never seems to be enough.

I’m trying to let Go and let God lead. I’m trying…Pray for me.

NYC Journey- Life Lessons

What Have I learned since I moved to NYC two months ago?

1. This is a year of transition… Challenges and complications are part of the process. I’m still learning to face my challenges with a confident attitude instead of an irritated, defeated one. Although it is mentally/emotionally, and physically draining at times, I have to remain inspired. Starting over and moving here was my own decision. I have to remember my reasons for that.

2. Pace Yourself…. I came here with a lot of major goals-Participate in a Pro. Dance program, Audition, live on my own, work, go back to school. After the first month, I realized that my financial situation will not allow me to accomplish all of these goals at the same time. 

Now how do I adjust, re-focus and stay inspired without allowing disappointment to take over my mind and emotions?

3. Be Consistent….Every day I feel impatient with where I am in life. I want to speed things up to the way they are in my mind…I want to make drastic changes. I don’t want to sit around and wait for the changes to come in their own time. I want to do more and more instead of remaining fully focused on reaching the goals I’m already working towards.

How do I learn to be content with where I am, develop a consistent attitude without changing my mind and turning to bad habits when life gets stressful?

How can I be more patient and accepting of myself and my journey?

Confessions of a “Minority”

I’m not going to spend my life being a Color.

I hate that it feels like my race and gender is tied to being….underadvantaged, unequal, and underestimated.

Everywhere I go, I have no choice but to notice the top and bottom. Who is on the top?  Who always seems to be in authority?

Who is always the employee?

I’m sick of being on the bottom, always struggling, fighting for opportunities that others can experience freely.

I want to travel, speak multiple languages, climb mountains, fly on an airplane, surf, ride a motorcyle, perform on Broadway.

Why does it feel like these things are unheard of for a person like me?

I want to see positive examples of myself in the media. I want to see myself as a superhero, Business woman, Leader.

Not the stripper, babymama, or the angry black woman.

No matter how hard it gets, I know that I can’t settle for the low status that society tries to keep me in. Even if I have to work twice as hard, I will reach the top of this glass ceiling and then burst through it.