Searching for what I never find…
My soul craves Expression, Inspiration, Connection, Energy….I find it in music, in movement, in Nature.
When I’m not performing or expressing myself, I feel bitter, bored, depressed and dissapointed. There’s so much desire still locked inside. I need to breath life into my desires. Do what I feel, feel what I do, and Love it.
This Year I can feel that it’s time to shift into a new season. I’m shifting away from survival mode and into Desire. It’s time to start manifesting the life of my dreams.
I’m tired of counting down the days until I can breathe again. I want to enjoy my life, my body, my money, my career, and my journey. The life I desire requires more! More creating, more inspiration, more connection, more expression.
I Give Myself permission to take it to the next level!
I am taking the necessary steps to create the Life I Desire.
A wise person once said “The World was Created for you…”
Which means the World is Mine as I perceive it.
So I Create My Own World of Beauty, My Own World of Dreams.
I am only 25 years old, but it feels like I have lived many different lives. I have written and closed so many different chapters in my life. With each step of my journey, I strive to Know Myself, Love Myself and Be myself in all that I do.
And maybe they’ll like me and maybe they won’t, but I’m not going to hide.
I will not live in fear and shame.
I know who I am and I will not change to fit expectations.I will be myself even under pressure.
I owe that to myself. I owe nothing to you.
This is survival for me. This is how I understand my life and who I am. I feel like I’ve been so many different people. There are so many layers it’s hard to remember the true center. I have written and closed so many chapters, I have to remind myself of who I really am how I get here.
It’s been a journey one step after another. I record my steps so I can remember my progress. It’s surprising to look back on. Sometimes I run into the same thoughts, it helps to see the process right in front of me.
I have to remind myself of so many things on a daily basis. I have to keep switching perspectives, knowing which place to focus on at the right time. Keeping it all in balance, letting it out so my brain doesn’t overload.
The Mind has too many webs, sometimes its hard to stay connected. It’s like a computer with Too many tabs open. Fragmented thoughts are frustrating. Sync it together.
So many plans, sometimes they escape me. I have to see it in front of me. I need encouragement. I need reminders. I need to see progress.
There’s no such thing as finished.
These are my emotions, my experience the way I perceive them. Experiences cannot be wrong. There’s never a chance to talk about all the things that are truly on your mind. If I spoke out loud all the emotions I felt in a single day, I’m not sure if I would even want to listen..
Some days it’s all internal….Some days I purposefully try to drown out thoughts so I can just be present. I don’t always want to be caught up in self.
This is a survival skill. I sharpen with experience. I don’t try to be too deep. This is just the way I think.
It’s essential as much as sleeping, eating, breathing. Push it out even when lazy, tired. Even after the experience is long over and done, write it out. It means something.