With each day I know that this is the beginning of a new season. I can’t find peace in anything anymore. There’s only emptiness and brokenness left here. I try so hard to keep myself from sinking down into it every day. I’m fighting so hard to keep my dreams alive and I’m glad that I made it this far, but I don’t feel like I’m living my life yet.
I’m tired of just getting by, accepting whatever life hands me, finding the tiniest glimpses of happiness once in a rare blue moon.
I feel trapped and isolated and I’m tired of feeling like this. I have to be courageous and ambitious enough to build the life I dream of rather than accept the second rate life I’ve been given. The longer I’m here, the more bitter and resentful I become. It’s been 10 years.. I finally realize that staying here is holding me back from the life I could be living.
I just want to be happy, that’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted.
Stop Believing that you are powerless and forced to accept a second rate life. You have the power to achieve any goal you set your mind to.
It’s hard to turn away from people who need help, But I can’t save the world, I can only save myself…I can’t continue being the one that makes everyone else happy while I’m miserable underneath. Don’t I deserve to be happy?
[feeling jaded and bitter]
Everyone around me expects positivity but my patience is fading. I’m tired of forcing myself through each day.
I can’t breathe between my thoughts, I can’t see between my tears. I can’t believe how long I’ve been unhappy.
Im going to lose my mind if I dont move on from here.
I’m at the point where I’m frustrated with everything around me here…Everywhere I turn I’m surrounded by dead end jobs, everyone struggling to make ends meet, the same old situations never improving, limited opportunities, mediocrity..
For some, it’s easier to remain in misery than to work towards change.
For me, the pressure is enough to push me into success. I refuse to keep living like this, working two jobs just to pay bills and barely having the time for my Art.
I can’t accept this. We went to college and earned degrees. We deserve more than this. Staying here is Not an Option! Leaving is the only way to gain the career and life I deserve. I’m working, training, and counting the days until I can say goodbye to this place.
Learning the difference between chasing money and chasing dreams…Money is an illusion. From now on, I just create. And I do it for me.
At times it feels like Happiness is an unrealistic expectation. I know it’s not possible for me to have everything I want all at once, but my life is good. I don’t have a lot of money, but I have what I need. I don’t love my job, but it pays the bills and I’m thankful for it. I’m glad that I have the opportunity to perform in two shows right now. I can say that I am grateful and content to be where I am but it’s hard for me to use the word happy when it comes to my life. There’s another place I want to be. I see myself getting closer to it, but I’m not there yet.
For me, happiness is freedom-being able to express myself and be myself, not having to worry about money every day, being self sufficient, having time and energy to do the things I love-creating, performing, connecting.
So, what is keeping me from all of this now?
Is it wrong to say that I won’t be truly happy until I reach this point? Is that an unrealistic expectation? Once I finally get to this place, will I truly be happy? Or will I be ready for the next thing? Am I just someone who’s never satisfied?
So yesterday I looked at my already depleted bank account, only 4 days after pay day, and I felt disgusted with my whole life. 😒
I started stressing myself out over money, bills, my career, and my future..”How am I ever going to be able to do it all??”
I started watching a comedy on tv to take my mind off it. After a while, I heard a little voice saying “Chiiill Out! You are taking your life way too seriously right now!” And I needed that. I realize that all of my anxiety stems from a lack of trust that everything is working out exactly as it should. So chill out and enjoy your life!