Stories of an Empath

For years, I’ve been emotionally imbalanced. Being swept along by my emotions, back and forth between bottling everything inside and watching it all explode in the ugliest ways.

Being unaware of my emotional depth and incapable of Navigating my sea of emotions has caused me to feel sad and disconnected from people and hurt the ones closest to me.

For years, I couldn’t express what I didn’t understand. I thought I must be dramatic, overly sensitive, or even psychotic. I used to criticize myself and feel ashamed whenever I felt I was being too Emotional. I didn’t understand how much I was only hurting myself by trying to bury my emotions.

Now, I know that the word for people like me. There’s even a whole science behind it. Being this way isn’t easy, but it’s my responsibility to figure

When you are an Empath,

1. You feel strongly and deeply. You form strong energetic connections to fellow empaths without even trying to.

2. Your energy is affected by your environment, other people, even the weather…I used to wonder why I felt so sad on cloudy, rainy days and why I lose my motivation towards the end of the day. It is because I draw my energy from the sun.

3. Negative energy is toxic and draining to be around. You have to be selective about the people and conversations you surround yourself with or you will find yourself absorbing negative energy without realizing.

*It takes constant effort and practice to learn how to Protect Your Energy during your daily life!

4. Music is a form of energy. It speaks to me in a way I cannot understand. I find myself crying to certain songs I hear on the radio, but the music I love lifts me up so High that it turns any sadness into joy.

5. You carry an abundance of emotional energy with you at all times. As much as I try, I cannot help but to experience multiple emotions at one time. I can’t turn it off I can only learn to listen and understand what my soul is trying to tell me.

6. Certain things just don’t mix with your energy. For me, Drinking and smoking are the main things to avoid if I’m imbalanced because

1. It taints my energy and aura.

2. It amplifies all of my emotional struggles.

7. You need physical/Creative outlets. You need to do things that allow you to Feel!!

Movement is an outlet to process and channel your emotional energy. Creating, dance, yoga, and nature walks are not just what I love, they are what I need. If I ever take a break from it, I’m back to being empty and depressed.

8. People prone to depression and anxiety are typically empathic and feel things easily and deeply (Kamm 127).

The more I understand, the more I can control my emotions. I’m learning to shape my life around my emotional needs.

It is ok to do what makes you happy.

It is ok to stop doing things that hurt you or negatively affect your energy.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed or confused, come back to this guide.

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Inside my Mind

My anxiety makes me doubt and question everything, even things I know are true. I try to be positive and not expect the worst, but When things turn out well, I am always surprised.

My Add Mind makes it hard to listen to people speak, hard to follow instructions, and hard to follow my own thoughts sometimes. I have many goals, but I haven’t learned to stick with just one Thing at a time. I don’t know if it’s possible. If I’m not doing a hundred things at once, then it feels like I’m not doing enough.

My depression just makes me want to be alone. Some days There’s a lingering pain of loneliness, but it’s hard to explain to others why you’re sad for no reason. I keep myself busy so I don’t have time to feel, but sometimes it catches up with me. Drinking doesn’t help, but it’s still my medication of choice.

I accomplish goals, but always the hard way because of the way my mind works. Sometimes there are obvious solutions to simple problems, but I wonder around in circles making things harder than necessary.

How do I feel about myself? I have my ups and downs… I am a perfectionist. It’s hard to love and accept myself with so many kinks and quirks. I always feel that I want to be better. I’m disappointed when I realize I cannot “fix” myself.

I struggle to love myself because I don’t want to be like this.

I’m always in a hurry, I’m impatient, irritable, I isolate myself because it feels easier to deal with this baggage alone.

I’ve dealt with these issues forever, even before I knew what they were called, but now I’m living in a new place in a new relationship. There’s much more at stake. Now, I am forced to see the many ways my mental habits affect my life and my partner’s.

This year I want to get help. I want to learn how to be a whole, functional person. I want to stop repeating self destructive habits. I want to be in Control of my emotions. But even if I never get it all together, I want to learn to love and accept myself for who I am.

I am not broken, just flawed like every other human on this Earth.

Finding Balance- The Art of Self Care

The physical world is so full of demands, it feels like balance is hard to find and even harder to maintain. Between work and commitments to family and friends, it’s easy to push your own personal needs aside. But you must learn to value your own Emotional and Mental health above everything else .

How do you remain balanced when your energy is being pulled in so many different directions??

This year juggling three jobs, multiple shows, and my own personal issues was a daily struggle. I learned that The more you  share your energy with everyone around you, the more people begin to want and expect your energy.  People are drawn to  and can even become dependent on your positive energy.

But what happens when you are burnt out?

Eventually, it becomes draining to constantly be the motivator, especially when your own emotional needs aren’t being fulfilled. After a while, it felt like I was giving my energy away to everyone else around me and there was none left for myself. I started to feel angry and resentful towards the people around me. They expected me to smile and laugh all day long,  but they had no Idea how frustrated and depressed I really felt. Some days felt like I was just playing a role for the sake of those around me.

In order to keep your peace of mind, you have to prioritize your own mental and emotional needs.   It’s ok to draw boundaries, it is ok to have time to yourself.

It is okay to not be ok. 

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Maintaining Balance

How To Live With Intent (Even If You're Super Busy & Stressed Out) - mindbodygreen.com:

In one of my last posts, I talked about the challenges I have with finding and maintaining a successful balance in each area of my life. I know that Balance is the key to a happy and successful life so I want to spend more time learning how to achieve it. I am creating a guide that pinpoints my personal goals for balance, the obstacles I face, and solutions for maintaining a healthy balance in each area.

1.Mind Body and Spirit-Balancing time for physical training, rest,and spiritual goals daily

Obstacle-Restless mind, tired body=No sleep

Solution-Quiet the mind before bed, spend more time reading and studying instead of on the computer

 

2.Physical training

Maintaining balance between strength and flexibility

Solution-continue yoga daily!!!

Maintaining physical appearance-skin, hair, etc

Solution-Go to bed earlier and wake up earlier to have more time for grooming, schedule hair appointments ahead of time

 

3.Drinking-balance between enjoying and overindulging

A slight buzz=ok Getting drunk/wasted=Not ok

Obstacle-Getting too excited, self- discipline and accountablility

Solution-Limit the number of drinks per night and how many nights you drink per week/month

 

4.Time-balancing time for work, rest, and  enjoying life

Obstacle-Understanding the difference between pushing yourself and pressuring yourself to do too much at once!

 

Being proactive as you take action but also patient as you are waiting for things to come together

Solution-Learning to plan ahead and prioritize, Balancing short term and long term goals

 

5.Money-Balancing saving and spending

Enjoy your hard earned money, but also save for the future!

Obstacle-inconsistency, impulsiveness

Solution-Create a budget and hold yourself accountable! Check in with Budget daily!

 

6. Friends/relationships-balance between remaining open but unattached

Friendships=ok  Co-Dependence=Not OK!

Obstacle-Becoming dependent in relationships

Solution-Always have “Me Time”, Establish boundaries in the beginning, communicate when you are uncomfortable/unhappy

 

This is a personal guide, but I hope it can help some of you as well. If it does, feel free to let me know!

 

 

 

 

Finding Balance

Finding your Balance is not an easy thing, especially when it feels like so much is riding on your Success.

Today I was a little disappointed in myself because it was the second day that I was too exhausted after work to go to the studio to practice. But I did force myself out of the house for a Sunset yoga session. Yoga is wonderful as a daily practice, it helps me to relax my mind while also keeping my body in dance condition.  However, as a training performer, my goal is to practice in the dance studio at least once per week. I cannot slack on this goal.

Sometimes I feel like as hard as I push myself, it’s still not enough. As much as I try to stay on top of my schedule, my finances, and my personal life, I know that I can still be more responsible with all of it. In every part of my life, I try to find a balance between discipline and enjoyment, but it’s never easy. I won’t give up trying though, tomorrow  is a New day and I will be back at it.

 

Focus on YOU.

“Don’t worry about them. Let them worry about you.” Unknown

I have a tendency to spend way too much time worrying about Perception.It’s not intentional, but the thought is always in the back of my mind. Through the years, I’ve found myself obsessing over people and spending more time worrying about what people think of me than understanding what I think of myself! I realized that this is a serious problem for me and it is something I need to learn to work though in order to live a life of true happiness and freedom. But I’ve been this way for so long, I don’t know how to break free from this mental obstacle.

One night, after going through a painful separation from someone I loved, I had a dream that gave me the answer I needed. In this dream,  I was looking at myself in a mirror and I heard my own voice speaking, “Don’t Focus on People, Focus on the Goal.” Since then, that has been a personal mantra for me. Every time I feel myself starting to get hyper focused on perception, I pull it back in and remind myself of a few things…

  1. Whatever  people think of me is beyond my control.
  2. It doesn’t matter what people think of me because I know Who I Am.
  3. Forget about people-What do YOU want?
  4. It’s not my job to be a People pleaser. My only job is to be Myself. Acceptance...: