Stories of an Empath

For years, I’ve been emotionally imbalanced. Being swept along by my emotions, back and forth between bottling everything inside and watching it all explode in the ugliest ways.

Being unaware of my emotional depth and incapable of Navigating my sea of emotions has caused me to feel sad and disconnected from people and hurt the ones closest to me.

For years, I couldn’t express what I didn’t understand. I thought I must be dramatic, overly sensitive, or even psychotic. I used to criticize myself and feel ashamed whenever I felt I was being too Emotional. I didn’t understand how much I was only hurting myself by trying to bury my emotions.

Now, I know that the word for people like me. There’s even a whole science behind it. Being this way isn’t easy, but it’s my responsibility to figure

When you are an Empath,

1. You feel strongly and deeply. You form strong energetic connections to fellow empaths without even trying to.

2. Your energy is affected by your environment, other people, even the weather…I used to wonder why I felt so sad on cloudy, rainy days and why I lose my motivation towards the end of the day. It is because I draw my energy from the sun.

3. Negative energy is toxic and draining to be around. You have to be selective about the people and conversations you surround yourself with or you will find yourself absorbing negative energy without realizing.

*It takes constant effort and practice to learn how to Protect Your Energy during your daily life!

4. Music is a form of energy. It speaks to me in a way I cannot understand. I find myself crying to certain songs I hear on the radio, but the music I love lifts me up so High that it turns any sadness into joy.

5. You carry an abundance of emotional energy with you at all times. As much as I try, I cannot help but to experience multiple emotions at one time. I can’t turn it off I can only learn to listen and understand what my soul is trying to tell me.

6. Certain things just don’t mix with your energy. For me, Drinking and smoking are the main things to avoid if I’m imbalanced because

1. It taints my energy and aura.

2. It amplifies all of my emotional struggles.

7. You need physical/Creative outlets. You need to do things that allow you to Feel!!

Movement is an outlet to process and channel your emotional energy. Creating, dance, yoga, and nature walks are not just what I love, they are what I need. If I ever take a break from it, I’m back to being empty and depressed.

8. People prone to depression and anxiety are typically empathic and feel things easily and deeply (Kamm 127).

The more I understand, the more I can control my emotions. I’m learning to shape my life around my emotional needs.

It is ok to do what makes you happy.

It is ok to stop doing things that hurt you or negatively affect your energy.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed or confused, come back to this guide.

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Here I Am.

This is Me

Here I am.

I’m starting completely over again

Building myself from the ground up

I’m juggling so much by myself 

And still trying to be happy…

It’s a game of Survival

People come and go and everyone has their opinion of who they THINK I am,

But at the end of the day, why should I fear anyone but God?

I can’t let people Bring Me Down.

I Release those Fears

Physical Existence

As much as I can, I want to escape this physical existence. I want to be more than my physical identity.

My physical life fills me with pain. Memories from my past are like visions of my past lives…How can I be so many people and still be whole?

People say I am young because of my physical age, but my soul is centuries old.

Some days my soul is heavy and tired and I feel trapped in this physical cage.

I feel free when I can escape into my spiritual realm of meditation, dance, music, nature.

I won’t be truly happy or free until I learn to live from my soul.

Comment me if you ever feel this way or have any knowledge/experience of metaphysics that I can gain from.

Thank You,

Shenise G.

The Fem Body Complex

It’s easy to get so caught up in what “Looks Beautiful” that you forget that you already are…

I’ve been dealing with this pressure lately. Even though I have spent years learning to Love and Accept the Real Me sometimes I still lose it and get stuck in the trap of feeling “Am I enough?”

Its easy to lose perspective when you are a Dancer who always seems to find herself on the Outside looking in…On top of that, Broke and Desperate wondering what it will take to get me from Point A to B??

Would it help if I looked more like a stripper with a small waist and Huge Ass, a Barbie Face and perfect, long hair??

Of course I know how Superficial and Anti-Feminist this “standard” for Female Beauty is but let’s face it….

These Girls Get PAID!

And not the Bullsht money you have to work over 40 hours at a crappy job for…

When I look at them, I find myself thinking it can’t be so hard to look like that…

Then I look at my own body…My angular shoulders, muscular arms, long legs, size A chest, and size 10 feet and I question my femininity…

Am I enough? Will I be accepted like this?

In the back of my mind, I hear my own voice saying You Are Beautiful as You Are! I hear my girlfriend’s voice saying I’m Beautiful, Sexy, And she wouldn’t change a thing… But still I am self conscious.

So I’m faced with these two perspectives, pondering these questions on a daily basis…

How do I get back to that place of Self Love and Acceptance??

Is it worth it to compromise to get what I want faster??

To be Continued

Clearly UnDefined….

 

Day to day I feel trapped in a Multiplicity of Self…

At times, I am proud of myself, but other times I’m ashamed of my flaws.

I am a kind, loving person but I push people away when they get too close.

Some days I am so inspired, I feel I can do anything. Some days I feel like I’m in over my head.

Some days I feel everything. Some days I am completely numb, just existing.

Some days I feel relaxed and comfortable with people. Some days I feel tense and impatient.

Why am I so complicated? Why can’t I just be the real Me all the time?

How do I get my mind, body, and emotions all on the same page?? To express my true feelings without the need to cover up.

How do I express myself on the days that I feel empty?? I am not a negative person. I know this is a battle I have to keep fighting.

When I become unbalanced, everything falls apart until I realign.

Until I can be the Real Me in every context, I remain emotionally unavailable. It has nothing to do with others, and everything to do with me and my multiplicity of selves…

 

 

 

 

Confessions of a Dancer…A Lonely Path

some days I feel strong

some days I’m tired of being the only one….

I got a few to count on

But I have to walk this path alone.

Seems like every time someone comes into my life I have to let them go.

I cant let anybody slow me down. I worked too hard just to get here.

I can’t let anybody slow me down. I conquered too much just to get here.

Even if I’m standing alone. I won’t let anyone pull me down.

FRee SpiRit

free-spirit

I accept my path as a Free Spirit Artist. I am not meant to be tied down by my job, my family, or my location.I don’t need relationships or labels. Long term commitments make me feel suffocated and trapped. I belong to no one. I am not meant to stay in one place. In every season of my life,  I learn what I need to and then it’s time for me to move on.  I am constantly evolving. I change my job, I change my friends, I change my style, I change my mind. I welcome my present source of inspiration. I let go of negative energy that binds me down. I love having time to myself. Being alone does not make me feel lonely. It brings me peace.  I need space to move, breathe and just be myself.

Don't live by what others will think! Once you stop caring, the world opens up to you!: