Psychology of Self

Exploring What it means to be an…

Introverted

Empathic

Highly sensitive

Woman, teacher, creator, performer, student striving and in search of Peace, Love, and Happiness.

Balance

Adapting to stress and demands of work and society. Feeling pressured to be on always, finding balance with alone time and not feeling bad for it.

Anxiety

I wish I didn’t think so much, but it’s the way I function.

Wanting to come out of my shell, sexually and creatively…

practicing non-judgment with myself, especially with the quirks I’m insecure about..

Not being able to climax with others….

Healing

Understanding my past and Healing from toxic relationships, emotional abuse

The trap of non-expression, depression and isolation

Unlearning ingrained patterns in my mind and soul: fears that keep me silent and shut down, overcoming shame and guilt, learning to let go

Communicating

With dating,  deciding to try it again with an open minded attitude, positive, and accepting but still look out for myself. In the past, I would get so negative and fearful, it has kept me away from trying to get to know people and letting people know me, but it gets lonely, I want to be able to be open and communicate.

Don’t assume that people are out to judge you or hurt you. Some people just want to love you.

Vulnerability

Is still hard and still scary, I’m learning that it can’t be avoided.  I’m trying to learn to embrace it. It does get easier with conscious effort and practice. I have to remind myself that I’m ok. I’m learning not to give people power over my emotions. It is ok to have emotions and to express them.  I’m learning to be comfortable in my own skin.

With everything, I know that people see me in many different ways. I can’t ignore the thoughts,but I can make them positive and loving instead of fearful and negative.

Psychology Today-Explanation of Introverts

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-secret-lives-introverts/201707/the-reason-introverts-might-think-too-much

Advertisements

NYC Mentality…I Run This

I’m thankful for the years I spent back home focusing on my spiritual growth, building positive mindsets, and letting go of emotional baggage.

As I thrive in this new environment, I know that the people and the circumstances around me cannot influence me unless I allow them to. I am the influencer and the Leader everywhere I go. That’s who I’m meant to be.

Finding Balance- The Art of Self Care

The physical world is so full of demands, it feels like balance is hard to find and even harder to maintain. Between work and commitments to family and friends, it’s easy to push your own personal needs aside. But you must learn to value your own Emotional and Mental health above everything else .

How do you remain balanced when your energy is being pulled in so many different directions??

This year juggling three jobs, multiple shows, and my own personal issues was a daily struggle. I learned that The more you  share your energy with everyone around you, the more people begin to want and expect your energy.  People are drawn to  and can even become dependent on your positive energy.

But what happens when you are burnt out?

Eventually, it becomes draining to constantly be the motivator, especially when your own emotional needs aren’t being fulfilled. After a while, it felt like I was giving my energy away to everyone else around me and there was none left for myself. I started to feel angry and resentful towards the people around me. They expected me to smile and laugh all day long,  but they had no Idea how frustrated and depressed I really felt. Some days felt like I was just playing a role for the sake of those around me.

In order to keep your peace of mind, you have to prioritize your own mental and emotional needs.   It’s ok to draw boundaries, it is ok to have time to yourself.

It is okay to not be ok. 

IMG_1642

 

 

 

Spiritual Warrior

When your soul starts to feel weary, Remember it’s never been easy…And it never will be.

But you are a Spiritual Warrior. To get where you are, you had to fight for your Dreams, Your Identity, and your Sanity.

You must continue fighting for your Peace, for Your happiness, and for your Destiny.

Stay Alert and Keep a Sober Mind! Keep your 3rd eye open, There are snakes in the grass. Distractions are everywhere-Fatigue and stress will make you feel there is no hope. You must stay connected with your Spiritual Energy. Then you will know that it is possible to achieve all your Dreams.

Humble Yourself-Remaining Patient through the Process

image
“Humble Yourself Under God’s Mighty Hand that He may lift you up in due time.” 1Pet.5:6

There’s a war raging inside my mind right now. I am not where I want to be. I want to be successful so badly I am telling myself to do whatever it takes, even if that means pushing past my limits until exhaustion….but the more I push myself, the more my mind and adrenaline kick in and tell me that I cannot rest or slow down. I’m getting to the point where I can’t sit still, my  mind is cluttered, I’m drinking more, and I have to force myself to rest at the end of the day. I’m moving so fast, that I’m making impulsive decisions rather than acting with peaceful clarity. I’m trying to do it all because it  feels like I’m not moving fast enough…Anxiety mode

I’m anxious because I’m 25 and I know that this is my time to move into my next level. My spirit knows to be patient and to Trust God as I  Trust my Journey. Deep down I know that I cannot rush the process.  I need to give myself the time I need to prepare. But at the same time, I am running out of patience.  I’m trying to increase the speed of my life so that I don’t have time to focus on my reality,  which is… I’m still here living in my hometown with my family, working a full time job that I don’t belong in, still struggling to pay bills and save money from month to month. I feel alone. Even though I am not the only struggling artist here, I wish there were more of us. I wish there were more professional training opportunities for me here, but I realize that professional training for adults does not exist here.

I am a positive person, but there are days when it’s just hard to feel inspired. I know from experience that when anxiety and negativity start building up like this,  I need to RE-focus and RE-charge. The reality of my life as a working artist is that I am ALWAYS fighting between being patient and accepting of my current place and feeling frustrated, stressed, and stuck in my current place.  This week, my anxious thoughts and emotions started to over-ride my truth, causing me to lose my Peace.

To go back to my truth, I must continue to find a  peaceful balance between all of my goals and desimg_0051ires.  I know that I need to slow myself down and stick to the plan. I have to constantly remind myself that I am doing enough right now with teaching, choreographing, practicing, performing, and working. I cannot do EVERYTHING all at once. Although I’m always excited for more opportunities, I have to start focusing and prioritizing the ones that will  help me reach my ultimate goal. Most importantly, I have to continue to train my mind and spirit as I am training my body. This means, keeping prayer, meditation, and mindfulness a priority each day so that I can live in a state of peace rather than a frantic frenzy.

Energy is Infinite

Everything in the physical and spiritual world is Energy. Energy flows inside us through our ☀ "Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be changed from one form to another." ~~Albert Einstein: mind, body, spirit, and soul. Energy is all around us in Nature and all of its creations. The things we cannot see with our physical  eyes, but can only feel with our hearts and souls…that is energy.

Understanding that our entire universe is made of infinite, abounding energy helps us deepen our perspective of life.We don’t need to mourn for lost love or people,  “Love is a form of energy that swirls all around us.” I believe that love is constantly being reborn in new forms. We just have to open our eyes to the energy that is already present within us and around us.

Spiritual Destiny 


I am more than my physical appearance. I am more than my gifts and talents. I am a living soul and spirit.
I accept that I am a complex being made of mind, body, spirit, and soul. I understand that my greater purpose is to live through each of these dimensions by finding balance and harmony among each part.

You cannot separate your spiritual destiny from your physical journey, Everything is connected.