It’s hard to turn away from people who need help, But I can’t save the world, I can only save myself…I can’t continue being the one that makes everyone else happy while I’m miserable underneath. Don’t I deserve to be happy?
My biggest challenge as a person and an artist is the fear of perception. I struggle to be myself freely and fully because of this fear. The logical part of me knows that it really doesn’t matter what other people think. I don’t need their approval, but still the thought is always in my mind,
What will they think?
This is an issue I face in every area of my life, at work, church, relationships, wherever people are involved. In every relationship I have, I secretly worry about the way other people see me.
As a performer, I’m still uncomfortable when I have to perform solo and all eyes are on me. I always end up toning myself down so I won’t stand out. I love performing, but it is not easy to be in spotlight and not feel fearful or anxious.
Fear has been a struggle for me throughout my entire life. I wish there was a way to escape it or erase the thought from my mind, but I’m learning that fear, like all emotional/mental issues, is not something that I can just turn off. Fear is a mindset that I work to overcome daily. Here is where trust and surrender comes in.
I accept the fact that I cannot conquer my fears on my own, and I give it to God. Every day I seek God to help me overcome my fears. Every day I meditate on these affirmations whenever I feel my fear creeping up.
- God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind.
- People are just people and there is no reason to fear them.
- My true intention is to please God and not people.
Every day it gets easier and the fear does not rule my mind the way it used to. Every day I continue to face my fears by taking chances, auditioning, and performing in new places. Today when I look at all my accomplishments, I realize that I’m now doing things that I used to only dream of.