Free Again

I just need to feel Free again

I need to be Just Me again

In my natural state

Is where I’m great

Independence is my strength.

Advertisements

More to Life


I’m Sick of being trapped inside a system where I can’t get ahead.

I’m always working, but still behind.

They say Money is the root of evil but it affects our quality of Life…

I’m always outside looking in at the Life of my dreams….

Watching people of privledge prosper effortlessly.

Me I have to split myself in 3 to study, work, and try to live my dreams.

When am I free to pursue my passions??

They say you cannot Buy Happiness….

So I guess I should learn to be content with Living from Hand to Mouth 

every day of every week of every month.

Don’t get me wrong, I am Thankful for everything I have.

I see people in far worse circumstances every day.

Thankful I am, but content? Not at all.

With Spiritual eyes, I see where I am supposed to be.

I can’t Accept Work, Struggle, Repeat as the  theme of my saga.

There’s More to Life and I deserve it.

So aggressively I will work, study, Move, shift, and shake my Plans into action

As I Pray, Trust, and Believe there is More to this Life.

Dreams-Living vs. Speaking

What have I learned from my first attempt at living my dreams in NYC and briefly coming home to friends and family?….

It’s easier to Live Your Dreams Out Loud than to speak them out loud.

Speaking your dreams gives people the chance to cut them down and implant seeds of Doubt into your Vision.

I know why I left this place….Being here Drains my energy. I’m constantly surrounded by voices of Fear.

It’s takes all the strength I have just to stay inspired from day to day…

Is there anyone here that can lift me up??

There goes that anxious, restless feeling that tells me it’s time to go.

From now on, I’ll share even less about my journey.

I want my accomplishments to speak for themselves.

One Day at a Time

Reality has a way of Humbling me.

Breaking me to my knees,

Sreaming in my face…

“Wake Up Cinderella!”

I’m trying to stop jumping the gun. I keep trying to make things happen before it’s time…I’m a control freak.

I’m trying to stop setting my expectations so high, it’s a setup for disappointment. Things in my life are never the way I see them in my mind.

Why do Dreams Manifest so slowly?

It’s hard to break these habits because I want what I want so badly. It feels like I’ve been waiting my whole life… Every day I pray for strength, patience, and peace. There never seems to be enough.

I’m trying to let Go and let God lead. I’m trying…Pray for me.

Confessions of a “Minority”

I’m not going to spend my life being a Color.

I hate that it feels like my race and gender is tied to being….underadvantaged, unequal, and underestimated.

Everywhere I go, I have no choice but to notice the top and bottom. Who is on the top?  Who always seems to be in authority?

Who is always the employee?

I’m sick of being on the bottom, always struggling, fighting for opportunities that others can experience freely.

I want to travel, speak multiple languages, climb mountains, fly on an airplane, surf, ride a motorcyle, perform on Broadway.

Why does it feel like these things are unheard of for a person like me?

I want to see positive examples of myself in the media. I want to see myself as a superhero, Business woman, Leader.

Not the stripper, babymama, or the angry black woman.

No matter how hard it gets, I know that I can’t settle for the low status that society tries to keep me in. Even if I have to work twice as hard, I will reach the top of this glass ceiling and then burst through it.

Hello, New York, Goodbye Fear!

I’ve reached the point where I no longer feel afraid in my skin. I can embrace myself as an aspiring artist, teacher, dancer, androgynous,  black, female Boss on a mission to be sucessful in all I do.

I’ve  dealt with the pain of rejection, heartbreak, and loneliness for my whole life. In the end, it’s the reason I am strong enough to stand on my own.

So be afraid of who? For what?

I didn’t move to NY to live afraid. I came here because I am Ready to give it all to live my dream. I have the confidence that I can do whatever I set my mind to.

What’s the worst that can happen to me? Someone thinks I am untalented? Oh well, I know who I am and I have nothing to prove. The only competition is against myself. The only limitations are my own beliefs.

New Season

With each day I know that this is the beginning of a new season. I can’t find peace in anything anymore. There’s only emptiness and brokenness left here. I try so hard to keep myself from sinking down into it every day. I’m fighting so hard to keep my dreams alive and I’m glad that I made it this far, but I don’t feel like I’m living my life yet. 


I’m tired of just getting by, accepting whatever life hands me, finding the tiniest glimpses of happiness once in a rare blue moon.

I feel trapped and isolated and I’m tired of feeling like this. I have to be courageous and ambitious enough to build the life I dream of rather than accept the second rate life I’ve been given. The longer I’m here, the more bitter and resentful I become. It’s been 10 years.. I finally realize that staying here is holding me back from the life I could be living.

I just want to be happy, that’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted.

Stop Believing that you are powerless and forced to accept a second rate life. You have the power to achieve any goal you set your mind to.