Confessions of a Dancer

I’ve got to get through this. Lately,  I’m finding myself frustrated with every part of my life. 

With Dance, I can’t seem to stop judging and comparing myself to the people around me. I feel like a stand out because of my age and race…My insecurities are affecting my confidence and my attitude. I just want to be successful so badly that I’m pressuring myself and expecting too much too soon. I’m feeling stressed instead of having fun expressing myself.

I really need to relax.

New Season

With each day I know that this is the beginning of a new season. I can’t find peace in anything anymore. There’s only emptiness and brokenness left here. I try so hard to keep myself from sinking down into it every day. I’m fighting so hard to keep my dreams alive and I’m glad that I made it this far, but I don’t feel like I’m living my life yet. 


I’m tired of just getting by, accepting whatever life hands me, finding the tiniest glimpses of happiness once in a rare blue moon.

I feel trapped and isolated and I’m tired of feeling like this. I have to be courageous and ambitious enough to build the life I dream of rather than accept the second rate life I’ve been given. The longer I’m here, the more bitter and resentful I become. It’s been 10 years.. I finally realize that staying here is holding me back from the life I could be living.

I just want to be happy, that’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted.

Stop Believing that you are powerless and forced to accept a second rate life. You have the power to achieve any goal you set your mind to. 

 

Spiritual Destiny 


I am more than my physical appearance. I am more than my gifts and talents. I am a living soul and spirit.
I accept that I am a complex being made of mind, body, spirit, and soul. I understand that my greater purpose is to live through each of these dimensions by finding balance and harmony among each part.

You cannot separate your spiritual destiny from your physical journey, Everything is connected.

Mirror, Mirror

When I was younger, I could not understand why people seem to come and go throughout my life. I did not understand relationships and the value they added to my existence. Through my spiritual journey, I’ve been able to expand my perspective. I now understand that relationships help us to learn  things about ourselves that are sometimes hidden from our own perspective. At times, these truths about ourselves are hard to face, but they are necessary for our personal growth.

mirror

The people around us are our mirrors, they reflect our own image back to us. In the same way, we reflect our self image, positive or negative,  onto the people around us. The more we learn to accept ourselves, the more we learn to mirror our love and acceptance to those around us. By learning acceptance, we can understand that  we are ALL Human. No person is perfect.When we are hurt or hurt others,  we have to forgive and keep Loving each other just as we continue to forgive and love ourselves.

This perspective helps us with our daily interactions with people. When we feel ourselves becoming upset about something that someone has said or done, we can learn to turn the mirror back on ourselves by asking these questions…

Why am I really upset right now?

What am I reacting to?

What does this situation say about me?

By turning the mirror back onto yourself, you eliminate anger and conflict towards other people.You will also learn to stop blaming others for your own unhappiness and you will  stop projecting your negative emotions onto others.  Every person, conflict, and situation comes into your life for a reason, to help you learn more about yourself so that you can continue to grow. I am thankful for all the teachers I’ve had throughout my life. Without them, I would not have been able to gain this level of self awareness and self love that has created a higher consciousness and positive perspective in all I do.

Happiness v.Content

just beAt times it feels like Happiness is an unrealistic expectation. I know it’s not possible for me to have everything I want all at once, but my life is good. I don’t have a lot of money, but I have what I need. I don’t love my job, but it pays the bills and I’m thankful for it. I’m glad that I have the opportunity to perform in two shows right now. I can say that I am grateful and content  to be where I am but it’s hard for me to use the word happy when it comes to my life. There’s another place I want to be. I see myself getting closer to it, but I’m not there yet.

For me, happiness is freedom-being able to express myself and be myself, not having to worry about money every day, being self sufficient, having time and energy to do the things I love-creating, performing, connecting.

So, what is keeping me from all of this now?

Is it wrong to say that I won’t be truly happy until I reach this point? Is that an unrealistic expectation? Once I finally get to this place, will I truly be happy? Or will I be ready for the next thing? Am I just someone who’s never satisfied?

Your Daily Walk

Marianne Williamson Quote on Self Acceptance | Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Don’t worry about what people think. This is Your Daily Walk.

It’s better to be rejected by Humans than rejected by God.

God’s will is the greatest force in my life. God is leading and directing me into my destiny. I submit to God’s will. With my life in my own hands, things fall apart, but God’s ways are higher than mine. I can’t see all the answers, but God knows what’s best for me right now and in my future.

John 15:5-I am the Vine, You are the Branches. Those who remain in me and I in them will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.

Trust. Believe. Receive. Shine