Clearly UnDefined….

 

Day to day I feel trapped in a Multiplicity of Self…

At times, I am proud of myself, but other times I’m ashamed of my flaws.

I am a kind, loving person but I push people away when they get too close.

Some days I am so inspired, I feel I can do anything. Some days I feel like I’m in over my head.

Some days I feel everything. Some days I am completely numb, just existing.

Some days I feel relaxed and comfortable with people. Some days I feel tense and impatient.

Why am I so complicated? Why can’t I just be the real Me all the time?

How do I get my mind, body, and emotions all on the same page?? To express my true feelings without the need to cover up.

How do I express myself on the days that I feel empty?? I am not a negative person. I know this is a battle I have to keep fighting.

When I become unbalanced, everything falls apart until I realign.

Until I can be the Real Me in every context, I remain emotionally unavailable. It has nothing to do with others, and everything to do with me and my multiplicity of selves…

 

 

 

 

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Ego v. Spirit Balance

Ego vs Spirit. Enjoyed and repinned by yogapad.com.au

When I’m connected to my Spirit, I feel at peace, full of faith, patience and positivity. When obstacles come, I can face them with a positive attitude… but there’s another voice battling inside me.

Ego-Physical, Fast paced, Stubborn,  Independent, Judgmental, Insecure, Anxious, Non-trusting

Spirit-Intuitive, slow moving, Connected, humble, Positive, Peaceful, Confident, Accepting, Trusting

In short, The Ego is self-destructive. Spirit is everything I want to be. I want to live free, not bound by my emotions- I want to live a happy, successful life full of positive, healthy relationships.  For me, Spiritual balance is as essential as water. It is a mindset, an attitude, and a lifestyle.

The balance between Ego and Spirit is the difference between a happy life and a miserable life. 

 

 

 

Confessions of a Dancer

I’ve got to get through this. Lately,  I’m finding myself frustrated with every part of my life. 

With Dance, I can’t seem to stop judging and comparing myself to the people around me. I feel like a stand out because of my age and race…My insecurities are affecting my confidence and my attitude. I just want to be successful so badly that I’m pressuring myself and expecting too much too soon. I’m feeling stressed instead of having fun expressing myself.

I really need to relax.

New Season

With each day I know that this is the beginning of a new season. I can’t find peace in anything anymore. There’s only emptiness and brokenness left here. I try so hard to keep myself from sinking down into it every day. I’m fighting so hard to keep my dreams alive and I’m glad that I made it this far, but I don’t feel like I’m living my life yet. 


I’m tired of just getting by, accepting whatever life hands me, finding the tiniest glimpses of happiness once in a rare blue moon.

I feel trapped and isolated and I’m tired of feeling like this. I have to be courageous and ambitious enough to build the life I dream of rather than accept the second rate life I’ve been given. The longer I’m here, the more bitter and resentful I become. It’s been 10 years.. I finally realize that staying here is holding me back from the life I could be living.

I just want to be happy, that’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted.

Stop Believing that you are powerless and forced to accept a second rate life. You have the power to achieve any goal you set your mind to. 

 

Spiritual Destiny 


I am more than my physical appearance. I am more than my gifts and talents. I am a living soul and spirit.
I accept that I am a complex being made of mind, body, spirit, and soul. I understand that my greater purpose is to live through each of these dimensions by finding balance and harmony among each part.

You cannot separate your spiritual destiny from your physical journey, Everything is connected.

Mirror, Mirror

When I was younger, I could not understand why people seem to come and go throughout my life. I did not understand relationships and the value they added to my existence. Through my spiritual journey, I’ve been able to expand my perspective. I now understand that relationships help us to learn  things about ourselves that are sometimes hidden from our own perspective. At times, these truths about ourselves are hard to face, but they are necessary for our personal growth.

mirror

The people around us are our mirrors, they reflect our own image back to us. In the same way, we reflect our self image, positive or negative,  onto the people around us. The more we learn to accept ourselves, the more we learn to mirror our love and acceptance to those around us. By learning acceptance, we can understand that  we are ALL Human. No person is perfect.When we are hurt or hurt others,  we have to forgive and keep Loving each other just as we continue to forgive and love ourselves.

This perspective helps us with our daily interactions with people. When we feel ourselves becoming upset about something that someone has said or done, we can learn to turn the mirror back on ourselves by asking these questions…

Why am I really upset right now?

What am I reacting to?

What does this situation say about me?

By turning the mirror back onto yourself, you eliminate anger and conflict towards other people.You will also learn to stop blaming others for your own unhappiness and you will  stop projecting your negative emotions onto others.  Every person, conflict, and situation comes into your life for a reason, to help you learn more about yourself so that you can continue to grow. I am thankful for all the teachers I’ve had throughout my life. Without them, I would not have been able to gain this level of self awareness and self love that has created a higher consciousness and positive perspective in all I do.